We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize