At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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