Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize