Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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