this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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