Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize