I hope mine doesn't look like that
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
