my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
