sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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