I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize