Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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