just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
