haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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