Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
