God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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