You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
