Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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