i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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