I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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