no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
