I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
