super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
