all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
