You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
