help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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