do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
