i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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