his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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