i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
