grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
false alarm. still invincible.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
