I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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