He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
