I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
