what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
