Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just gift wrapped bread.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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