idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
