They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
