this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
BRING THE BAGELS
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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