Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
