Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I wish life had little blips of pornography
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
