Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
