why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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