I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
