Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
