He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
