Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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