She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
