she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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