you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize