Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
