Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
