Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
you never un-have a 4some
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
