Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
3pm strippers are depressing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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