I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
