you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
