You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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