You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I am mentally ready for anal.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
