There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
