I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
