So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
