Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
