Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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