It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
