where am i from again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
