Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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