he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize