If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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